We are today a people and society bereft of love like never before. Anyone listening to the voices of our harassed, battered, and abused young demonstrators asking for justice and employment is left in no doubt that our republic today is no longer open to love. Visceral hatred for ‘the other’ in politics, on social media and in religious festivals is the order of the day. A visibly enraged prime minister, instead of addressing the vital issues raised by the Leader of Opposition and young demonstrators of the Cockroach Janta Party (CJP), accused Congress and its leadership of triggering unrest to grab his chair. And the Union home minister of India accused LoP of pursuing an action plan to protect infiltrators.“This wasn’t a crowd drawn through allurements…They were animated by their love of democracy..” wrote veteran journalist Sanjay Jha, of the second surging of crowds at Jantar Mantar, after which the government moved quickly to arrest CJP leaders and declared the area closed for all public demonstrations. And dear oh dear, what confusing signals are coming from the US. While the Trump government and its emissaries leave this ever changing he-loves-us, he-loves-us-not stance of US President Donald Trump, American singer Mary Millben pops up to express her strong ‘faith’ in India’s current system saying donors from US opposed to Modi were actually funding the protests in Delhi, and she believes “he (the PM of India) is not going to bow to disruptive forces from my country”. She stands contradicted by Congress woman Rep Pramila Jayapal who posts that she is “deeply concerned about the actions of the Indian government to purge 130 million people from the voting rolls. Former Foreign Secretary Kanwal Sibbal snaps back, “Why not mind your own business?” alleging not only that her concern was misplaced but we are concerned about your interference in our internal affairs and your animus towards India.”Obviously there is not much room in our public discussions for love and compassion and a balanced nuanced view of things. Even in the movements against casteism and sexism one is appalled to see the aggressive slogans against their perceived enemies. Strangely enough, despite Jayasi’s great ode to love and songs of Bhakti poets, human love in the last two centuries has maintained a low, almost apologetic, profile in Indian political and social discourse. Up until the 90s, talking of love frankly, ‘khullamkhulla’ as they say, was frowned upon. Popular films then became the main domain the young turned to see their unspoken yearnings for love come to life on screen. We were by then a linguistically confused society where the vocabulary for expressing love was limited. Music came to the rescue here and those love songs stayed even as the stars that played young lovers aged and faded slowly. Today, a certain rage rules pop songs in Hindi and Punjabi, and films like Animal and Dhurandhar have made violence a necessary component of human love. Other themes for popular songs and OTT serials are the meaninglessness of love, its irrelevance and how mixed marriages based on love Jihad are evil. In real life, a young Baba can get away with advice to dancing groups of women during his Dharm Yatra, to be Durga or Kali but never a Burkhewali! The increasing saffronisation of our public spaces, our religious yatras and gangs of goons leering at women on streets is now producing armed brigades encouraged to beat up suspect lovers in parks or and other public spaces. Their presence combined with increasing images of women in politics, on campuses and in OTT serials as sexualised creatures, is raising the numbers of young people afraid of love or gender equality and notions of secularism. They shout ‘Jai Mata Di’ with fervor and go to temples of goddesses with stoles round their heads but many of them humiliate, rape and disrobe girls wearing what they decide are ‘provocative’ dresses’. But girls are berated for aggressive push backs and mouthing gaalis men may use frequently in common speech. This is further encouraged by the release of many well connected sexual predators, while their proven victims (like the Haryana wrestlers) or the late victims’ family (like Ankita Bhandari’s) may be arrested for ‘disturbing peace’.Reviewing the numerous thundering speeches on empowerment of women, of giving cash doles to “Hamari matayen, behn, betiyan”, or educating the girl child in the last few years by representatives and spokies of the ruling dispensation, I am struck by how few of us realise that the domination of women and children stands in the way of real love in our homes, work places and even in many courts of law. Illustration: Pariplab ChakrabortyA few days after Valentine’s Day in 2019, Rahul Gandhi, decided to leave his seat and go and embrace a visibly shocked and unsmiling prime minister during a parliament session. He said he did this spontaneously because to him human love mattered. And it must matter also to the all powerful leadership who seemed to be in need of a real warm hug. All hell broke loose with that simple gesture. The prime minister called it not an embrace but “galey padna”, hanging around the neck. Gandhi was targeted by party spokies for months for ‘belittling’ the dignity of the prime minister and the House. ‘Apologise!’ thundered a particularly vociferous lady parliamentarian. She alleged that Gandhi winked after embracing the prime minister forcibly. She said this was not directed at his friend sitting nearby but at her.It appears now that Rahul’s gesture that day may have axed a whole frozen sheet of silence and let leak out what Jayasi called a sea of Prem Rasayan (the chemical of love). That leak that the now famous public hug unleashed in the name of human love between various generations, is also somewhere linked to the spontaneous march of young college girls demanding love and care from the state. As they marched, the girls did not raise the usual slogans like Hulla bol or Humko Azadi Chahiye, but said “Hum Auratein Azad hain”. For that they coined a body of remarkable new slogans like ‘Ek Kachauri Do Samosa , In Mardon ka kya Bharosa?’ and ‘Thandi chai garam karo, Mard jat sharam karo!’‘Why tar all of us?’ some men began asking sheepishly. But the larger truth was undeniable. It was a truth confirmed by John Bradshaw’s ‘Creating Love: The Next Great Stage of Growth.’ The author here establishes a clear link between institutionalised patriarchy and the lack of love in families. Women and also men in India need to know about the real meaning of human love beyond the realm of male created slogans of Azadi. Every real democracy needs a clear understanding of a very human longing to love and be loved back. Of how love informing decisions in families and Parliaments and the courts may be the only bond that can really keep our heterogenous society together and make us into a community of humans. “Loneliness does not come from having no people about one, but from being unable to communicate the things that seem important to oneself, or from holding certain views which others find inadmissible,” wrote Carl Jung.Saakhi is a Sunday column from Mrinal Pande, in which she writes of what she sees and also participates in. That has been her burden to bear ever since she embarked on a life as a journalist, writer, editor, author and as chairperson of Prasar Bharti. Her journey of being a witness-participant continues.