Pahalgam/Pulwama (Jammu and Kashmir): Aisha Begum looks at the heap of debris that her decades-old home has turned into. Her residence in Kulgam was part of the blasting spree carried out by the security forces in south Kashmir to avenge one of the biggest terrorist attacks on tourists in Kashmir’s Pahalgam on April 22.Begum’s house – made from money her family saved over the years working as daily wagers – was blown up, apparently to avenge the killings in Pahalgam.But she and many others with destroyed homes – whose sons, brothers and fathers had cut ties with them to become terrorists – ask a common question: “Was it our fault?”Along with Begum’s humble home in Kulgam, the authorities planted explosives in eight other residential houses of the families of suspected Lashkar-e-Tayyaba (LeT) members. The explosives were later detonated, blowing up their homes, hopes and dreams. The blasts have also impacted the homes of neighbours who had no connection whatsoever with the alleged terrorists.The family recounts how they were asleep when the security forces arrived with their equipment at 12:30 am and began to blow up the sum of their lives.Those suspected of having committed the Pahalgam attack or of associating with the LeT have been identified as Ahsan Ul Haq Sheikh, Asif Ahmad Sheikh and Amir Nazir, from Pulwama. From Shopian, it is Shahid Ahmad Kutay and Adnan Shafi Dar, and Jameel Ahmed Shergojri of Bandipora district as well as Adil Thoker of Anantnag and Farooq Ahmad Tadwa from Kupwara.Trickling traumaTime stands still in Pahalgam. Its taxis, hotels, restaurants, gift shops and people are on pause. Nothing breathes any more. Horses run without riders and rivers rush past restless, with no children to skip stones.Pahalgam is in mourning, with its garrisoned gardens.Hilal Ahmed Ahanger, a 28-year-old entrepreneur in Pahalgam, is already a victim of Kashmir’s distressing unemployment statistics. Ahanger, who pursued his masters in political science and bachelors in mathematics, had forgone the idea of pursuing a career related to his education when he calculated the dismal pay he would receive. Instead, he began his small-footed journey in the hotel business seven years ago.After the attack, several hotels have shut, but some are still open in the hope of catering to tourists. The huts that Ahanger runs are vacant now.“This attack has shocked everyone. But now, I know we will be seen as the ‘new Pulwama’. No one even knew where Pulwama was, and now it is known for a tragedy. Sadly, Pahalgam’s image of a beautiful tourist spot can never be repaired now,” Ahanger told The Wire.Hilal Ahmed stands in an empty tea shop in Pahalgam. Photo: Tarushi AswaniAnother restaurateur at the affected spot said he had requested his staff to go back to their respective districts to stay safe. “Our Hindu staff was terrified after the attack, they wanted to leave and we readily facilitated it. Our staff of 18 has now shrunk to four,” he said.Locals feel that the gruesome episode has shaken their world forever. It has left them in a more vulnerable spot than ever, with their lives and livelihoods jeopardised.‘We are permanent sufferers’In Pulwama’s Murran village, Sahiba Jan, a 14-year-old girl, is trying hard to make her way out of her neighbourhood which was recently wrecked with controlled explosives. Her feet have multiple scratches: the lanes she passes through are now paved with hundreds of rugged rocks, pieces of shattered plastic and splinters of wood. Homes with no ties to any alleged militant or terrorist were not spared the blast. Children like her were left to dig through the rubble, searching for their books and belongings amid the wreckage of ordinary life.Ever since Pulwama made headlines for the 2019 attack that killed 40 CRPF personnel, locals say life has never been the same. While they acknowledge that some of the region’s young men joined the militancy, they describe an overwhelming sense of being watched—one that has only intensified since 2019.Also read: Caught Between Borders and Broken Promises, Pakistani Woman’s Journey Through J&K’s Militant Rehab PolicyAfter the Pahalgam attack, Pulwama’s locals felt a rise in their pulse. The 40 deaths that happened six years ago haunt their hearts and homes to date. After the Pahalgam attack, hundreds and thousands of men across Pulwama and the rest of Kashmir were taken away by the forces.Wali Mohammed, whose house was the target of the explosion in Murran, feels that things are never going to be the same now. “How can those who stay be accountable for those who leave?” he asked. His grandson, Ahsan ul Haq Sheikh, has been accused of involvement in the Pahalgam terror attack.The blast in Pulwama’s Murran targeted at alleged terrorist Ahsan Ul Haq Sheikh’s home has impacted other homes nearby. Photo: Tarushi AswaniIn Shopian, Pulwama’s neighbour, former MLA Aijaz Ahmad Mir’s faith in peace and stability is beginning to waver. A native of the volatile village of Zainapora, Mir has long believed in democracy as the path forward. But the demolition of homes belonging to those merely suspected of involvement in the Pahalgam attack, he feels, has cast a deeper pall over south Kashmir—heightening the sense of unease and foreboding that already hung in the air. “Kashmir is a very tricky region to deal with. One miscalculated move and all the years of stability can go down the drain. And whatever happens, it is Kashmiris who bear the brunt. Our parents, children, our people are a permanent casualty of the seven-decade old conflict,” Mir told The Wire. Mourners in Modi-fied KashmirEver since the 2019 attack, the Narendra Modi government has twisted every arm, agency and institution in its hands to make Kashmir hum a narrative of peace and prosperity. This has only resulted in a pendulum effect of attacks moving from Kashmir to Jammu – and now back to Kashmir. According to the South Asia Terrorism Portal, 2024 saw 12 ‘major incidents’ unfold in Jammu and Kashmir, leading to 50 deaths and 58 injured. Newer militant groups are rising in the region – rebel groups such as the People’s Anti-Fascist Front, the Resistance Front and the Kashmir Tigers emerged after Modi’s cancellation of Kashmir’s special status in 2019.And it is the rise of such groups that is choking the narrative of Naya Kashmir.Outside the home of Adnan Shafi Dar, another LeT member among the suspects of the Pahalgam attack, there is debris and despair. His father still looks at the remains and ruins of what he once called home, where he raised his children, including Adnan, in Shopian’s Wandina.The ruins of Dar’s house carry a trampled piece of tape saying “CRIME SCENE”, but his father Shafi Dar, who is yet to come to terms with the blasting of their humble abode, questions this ‘counter action’ on April 27.Dar cannot comprehend this damage, not because it is personal, but because it has never happened in his district before. Shopian is known for people joining the militancy ever since it gained momentum. “Our district, our village has seen many leave, and learnt about many being killed for being militants. But this has never happened to any of their houses,” Dar told The Wire.The fear here is palpable. Several young men have been detained as the security forces question about 1,500 Kashmiris on the attack.While all of India—including Kashmir—mourns the loss of 26 lives in Baisaran, Kashmiris are grieving much more. They mourn sons lost to violence, lives disrupted by detentions and imprisonments, and a future they now see as all too plausible: one marked by greater uncertainty, instability, and fear.