This is a work of fiction. Although it may appear closer to reality than fiction for some.§A lot of noise has been made about the Cockroach Janata Party but a group of Sanatanis has now announced the formation of what is destined to become an even more viral phenomenon, the Chanda Chor Janata Party!Last week, in fact, the new party was born amidst the vilification of Sanatanis in Ayodhya. When it sought registration, a Statement of Objectives was demanded of them. A draft was submitted but the competent authority is yet to take a view.Statement of Objectives for the Chanda Chor Janata PartyAn association, voluntarily entered into by eleven devout Hindus and fierce believers in Sanatan Dharma, is sought to be formed. It is to be called Chanda Chor Janata Party (CCJP), with its registered headquarters at Ayodhya, Uttar Pradesh.We assert a right to form such an association under the Constitution of India’s mandate under Article 25 and Article 26;We assert that the Hindus, and all other believers in Sanatan Dharma and in its centuries old manyatas (value system) and paramparas (traditions and protocols), have a right to manage our own places of worship, including the Ram Mandir at Ayodhya;We believe it was wrong for the state/government to constitute and appoint the Shriram Janambhoomi Trust. The Ram temple is the product of a movement which refused to be confined by the legalities of the Constitution of India. It demolished the centuries old Babri masjid and thus paved the way for a favourable Supreme Court verdict so how and why should it now be managed in terms of a ‘secular’ constitution? Ideally, we should have returned to the pre-colonial traditional Hindu jurisprudence which holds that “proprietary rights rested with shebaits and priests who were clearly demarcated by caste—they could only be Brahmins.” Any number of scriptures can be cited in support of this understanding of the Hindu tradition of management of temples.We insist that the government/state has no locus standi in managing and running any Hindu temple or religious place; and, it is our objective to work for rolling back of the legal provisions that allow the state/government to appoint trusts and CEOs to manage our most revered places of worship like at Tirupati. We propose to agitate for a Presidential Reference to the Supreme Court, under Article 143 of the Constitution, in this matter.We question the very concept of “chori” that is now being bandied about carelessly in the context of the Ram Mandir. There can be no chori, or theft, by those running a temple. The concept of chori questions a practice and arrangement essential to the Hindu religion. The devotee has a pious obligation to offer a donation as per his/her capacity; there is no minimum and maximum amount fixed. And, it is for the pujaris to take care of that donation and do what they think would please the Bhagwan.We question the very idea of the state/government getting involved in the management of the charava (donations). This is a totalitarian project. There are millions of temples in this ancient land of Hindu civilisation. Will the secular authority put a CEO/policeman and accountant in every temple? We believe the Hindus should have the total and complete right to decide how the charava is to be handled by the priests and other employees looking after the upkeep.We reject and protest the police action against some employees of the Shri Ram Mandir. The ‘donations’ are not taxes collected by a secular revenue authority. This is an exclusive internal matter of the Hindu community. In future, a ‘secular’ government in Lucknow can, for instance, decree that ten percent of ‘charava’ be set aside for ‘public purposes’ like Corporate Social Responsibility provision for companies. Can Sanatanis accept that?We shall like to invite attention to a simple fact that if the PMCARES fund – an entirely secular arrangement—is beyond public scrutiny and accountability, why should questions of ‘morality’ and ‘public order’ be invoked in the matter of ‘charava’ at the Ram Mandir?We believe that the entire controversy has been manufactured to malign the Hindu community, show it in bad light as incapable of managing the affairs of a temple central to the restoration of Hindu gaurav, or gaurav, after 1000 years of slavery. It is possible that the “controversy” has spilled over in the public domain because of a falling out among those currently in charge – all of whom were hand-picked by the secular authority. That is the first mistake and the original sin.We, as the Chanda Chor Janata Party, will devote our energies and time to make amends for the Indian state’s over-reach and would endeavour to restore the management and control of all Hindu temples back to the true representatives of the Hindus.We, therefore, request that our party, the Chanda Chor Janata Party, be recognized and allowed to make its contribution to the collective project of national rejuvenation.Atmanirbhar is the pen-name of an aspiring satirist, who irregularly contributes a column, From the Vishwaguru Archives, and believes that ridicule and humour are central to freedom to speech and expression.