This is a work of fiction. Although it may appear closer to reality than fiction for some.According to multiple sources, it is learnt that at a recent meeting of the full council of ministers and some special invitees from the ruling party, the younger members were very vocal. It has been reported that this group, led by the designated gun-slinger (of the goli maro salon ko fame), aggressively demanded to know why the government was soft on all those who heap scorn and ridicule on the prime minister as well as those who dismiss the achievements and accomplishments notched up under his leadership.The most compelling argument these Young Turks reportedly made was that the government was seen as ‘reactive’ in the battle for the minds of Gen Z; whereas the need of the hour was for the government and the BJP to proactively nip in the bud all those who want to create conditions of anarchy in the country.The seniors in the meeting were most moved by their young colleagues’ vehement contention that whereas Prime Minister Narendra Modi undoubtedly ruled the hearts of most Indians, perhaps the battle for minds was slipping out of our control. It was agreed that a group of young ministers should be encouraged to produce a draft on ‘what is to be done?’The Young Turks have since circulated to various ministries – home, external affairs, defence and law – a non-document for vetting and comments.Draft(limited circulation)New Threats Demand New InstrumentsStatement of ObjectivesWHEREAS under the invigorating leadership of the Union home minister, the country has been purged of a great threat to national security and prosperity –the menace of Naxalite violence;And, WHEREAS the country has moved sufficiently away from the intoxicating traction that the Urban Naxals had gained till recently;And, WHEREAS it needs to be emphasised that the threats to national security remain substantial and the forces inimical to our national well-being remain maliciously active in their designs, it is necessary not to underestimate these forces and their resourcefulness and their ability to regroup and resurface in innocuous forms. As the prime minister has often reminded us, the country needs to take a “holistic approach” to matters of national security. Our valiant armed forces can defeat the enemy in any frontal combat, but it is the hidden enemy who needs to be unmasked, stopped and neutralised;And, WHEREAS we have very capable instruments in the form of the IB, RAW and NIA and these instruments have served the nation well over the years but it is time to acknowledge – without demeaning any institution – that these organisations are not equal to the task of combating the new challenge: how to protect our youth from “false consciousness” manufactured by our enemies. Even the much-touted “IT Cell” is getting jaded and is definitely falling behind in the game. Our recent experiment in outsourcing ‘hits’ to global underworld operatives has not been a shinning success either. And, our national media has now degenerated into a deep dysfunctionality and is unable to deliver what is needed;And, WHEREAS we deem it is our duty to steer our youth with a firm guiding hand, we suggest we put a new authorised instrument in place with the primary purpose of smelling a rat – of picking up and investigating the faintest of faint odours of conspiracy.It is our suggestion that a new Shadyantra-gandha Anveshan Karyalaya be established. Given the Honourable PM’s love for suggestive acronyms, it may kindly be noted that this proposed new body abbreviates to SHAK, or Suspicion.The new karyalaya must take as its starting proposition the undeniable reality that in this time and age, the greatest threat to our national security and national well-being comes from a combination of internal and external sources.It should be the primary duty of SHAK to uncover the structure of conspiracies, collusions and complicities between internal actors and groups and outside forces and interests. For instance, Union commerce minister Piyush Goyal is to be complimented for taking the leader of opposition to task for “sowing seeds of anarchy”. The proposed SHAK should have the responsibility for proactively pre-empting such nefarious designs.It is necessary to note that this new bureau can be worth the expense only if we are able to find first-rate intellects to staff the senior positions. We shall need to assemble an entirely new slate of tech-savvy, intellectually vibrant and ideologically-literate officers. And, without meaning to give offence to anyone, it would be in the national interest to keep out the busybody Swayamsevak-types.We have sufficient experience over the years not to underestimate the importance and criticality of the first captain who would impart dynamism and direction to the new outfit. We need an R.N. Kao, a B.N. Mullick or a K.F. Rustomjee at the helm in the SHAK Bureau.And, though it is not our brief to produce an organisational blueprint, we do believe that the proposed bureau will need to have a number of divisions for focus and finesse – because the major NGOs, the corporates, the political parties, the media groups and associations would need to be infiltrated. What we are proposing is a most sophisticated operation: how to control minds without letting the controlled get wise to this control. Perhaps we can seek some technological support from the Israelis.Though the competent authority will have the final say, our suggestion is to induct Sibi George, currently stationed in the MEA, as the first director of the SHAK Bureau. He seems to have the right mix of pugnaciousness, command over English, the poker-backed reverence of the convert, and a reasonable grasp of the global forces at work. If he is deemed too junior for such an important task, the government may consider reassigning his minister, S. Jaishankar to this new position, given the courage with which he once described as ‘old, rich, opinionated and dangerous’ one of the evil foreign masterminds of the campaign against our PM.As the Prime Minister has often reminded us, our enemies never give up, and, therefore, we can never lower our vigilance. We must not only be ready to play offence but also unafraid to give offence.Vande Mataram!Atmanirbhar is the pen-name of an aspiring satirist, who irregularly contributes a column, From the Vishwaguru Archives, and believes that ridicule and humour are central to freedom of speech and expression.